Impossible Goals

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It is true that we cannot reach our external goals – “I want a new job”, “I need to lose 25 lbs”, “I want a new relationship with my fill in the blank.”, “I want to find my soul mate.”…without addressing and getting real about our internal influencers.

In my last blog, I talked about a way to reframe your thoughts and tap into a more powerful mindset through the use of mantras.  Thing is….if you have done the “internal work”, mantras will be the anchor you need to refocus and accomplish; however, they are not a cure-all.  You see, you can repeat your mantra as much as you’d like but if you don’t address and deal with the internal influencers that might be blocking your path to that external goal  – well, the truth is your momentum towards that external goal will be temporary.

What do we mean by “internal influencers”?  Well there are 4 internal influencers that can block us on our path to reaching our goals.   These are what we, in the coaching world, like to call our GAILs (Gremlins, Assumptions, Interpretations, Limiting Beliefs).

Let’s start with the first, limiting beliefs.  Your beliefs can either help you or hinder you; limiting beliefs are those that hold you back from success. If you do not believe something is possible, you’re not likely to attempt it. Even if you do attempt it, you won’t devote much energy to achieving that goal.

Limiting beliefs are general beliefs about the world, your environment and situation, and the people around you that stand in your way. More often than not, you accept a limiting belief as true because you’ve learned it from someone else, or from an “authority,” such as the media, a book, or a movie. You assume that it’s “just the way it is.”

Here is a couple classic examples of a limiting belief:  “I am too old to…..”, “I don’t have enough time to…”, “That’s for people who are far more in shape than I am….”.

There are several ways to challenge limiting beliefs. You can explore the effect the belief has had on your life, look for proof of its truth (or lack of proof), or modify the belief or aspects of the belief to better serve you. Simply examining the belief with questions like “How true do I believe that is?” and the rhetorical “Where did I get that idea?” can also work remarkably well. Once you overcome limiting beliefs, they can no longer hold you back.


How am I applying this now?  I have had a 10 year desire to participate in a mud-run – I see those pictures of women working together to accomplish this dirty crazy task, generally for a good cause (which I love!) and it looks like SO MUCH FUN!  What I needed to acknowledge is I never signed up because I had several limiting beliefs – “I am getting too old – that’s for younger girls…”, “I am not a runner….”, and “I don’t have time to get in the kind of shape I need to be in…”.

What I am doing now….getting past those limiting beliefs, working on what is true and untrue about each of those statements, and creating a plan to overcome.  1) I am not too old – duh!? – the proof is in reading stories of those that participate, 2) Many women who successfully get through the mud run are not “runners” and rely on their teammates to get them through it – that’s the point!, and 3) I have control of how much time I CHOOSE to spend preparing myself for the mud run.

Another key was connecting to WHY the mud-run was so important to me.  Once I got past the limiting beliefs I needed to determine my WHY for wanting to participate – it is ONE DAY/ONE GOAL? If that was my only goal..I’d never really get there either.  So my true WHY…”succeeding in the mud-run will help me accomplish several smaller goals I have along the way” – 1) consistent exercise focused on strength training, 2) healthier eating habits, and 3) healthier mindset through both eating better and exercising that will support me in helping my clients!

Stay tuned…I have signed up for a mud-run with my very good friend and it is the end of June!

Where do you start?  This is the foundation of the total wellbeing program I am offering through a variety of formats – on-demand online education, group coaching, or 1:1 coaching.  Click here to receive more information. 

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